I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
