My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
