For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize