I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Randomize
