The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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