the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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