do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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