yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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