If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
