I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
