just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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