I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
