I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
