I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
