this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
