for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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