peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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