He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
