dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
