If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
