i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
