Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
