omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
