So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
