He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
