He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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