he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
