the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
