wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
