the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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