you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
