I swear she didn't look like that last week.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
