Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
