i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
