I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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