Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
