i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
