yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
