Banned from zoo.
Again?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
