the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize