he shaved USA in his pubs
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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