They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
