How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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