We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
