I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
