need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
