theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
