we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
