How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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