Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
