to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
