worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
