Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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