i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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