can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
