not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
