Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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