how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
