so explain again why im purple
no
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
