She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
