Swine flu is the new snow day.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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