I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
