i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My ass is underappreciated
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
